How to deal with rejection?

“The girl I’m in love with said we should only be friends.”

“The guy I have a crush on refused to go out on a date with me.”

Ouch! It hurts!


Yes, it does. No one likes to be rejected. However, rejection is part of life and we all have to deal with it eventually.

Dealing with rejection consists, basically, of accepting the fact that we’ve been rejected. It may sound obvious, but one of the reasons rejection can be so hard to deal with for some people, is because they can’t stand the idea of not being wanted by the person they like, have a crush on or are in love with.

How to accept such a thing?

  • First: by understanding rejection is an inevitable part of life.
  • Second: by acknowledging the fact that all of us are free to choose, and so is the person who is rejecting you.

Ok… but it still hurts! Why?

Because rejection damages our ego and affects our self-esteem. It’s ok to feel bad about it at first, but this uncomfortable sensation shouldn’t last too long, since:

  • Feeling romantically rejected by someone doesn’t mean you are never going to find another person to love and be loved by in return.
  • You are invaluably worthy, no matter who rejects you. In any case, they are the ones to be missing out on a great opportunity to be loved by a person like you.
  • Dealing with painful events as this one will make you stronger and provide you with the tools to face other uncomfortable situations you may (and will!) encounter in life.
  • It’s also a good opportunity to meet someone new. The sooner you’re able to let go of the person who rejected you, the sooner you’ll regain your confidence and make yourself available to love someone else.


And last but not least… Idealizing is quite common when we’re in love or we like someone badly. We feel they’re great, they’re flawless, they’re the best. But take into account you may not even know what that person is really like. We’re all human beings and therefore, imperfect. No exceptions. Taking that person off the pedestal, focusing on yourself and acknowledging the good qualities in you, will help you to regain your self-confidence and move on.

Dealing with rejection is a process. Don’t be afraid of going through it. In love, in friendship, at work, here or there, sooner or later:  it happens to us all.

Laura Team

3 thoughts on “How to deal with rejection?

  1. This is great! I have to say, I agree that accepting is the most important part, because of that, it’s also the most difficult part, haha!

  2. This is a great article, no doubt. But I’d like to give an alternate view. The confidence of a person actually goes down with each rejection he/she faces. After a certain number of rejections, the person reaches a point where he/she totally gives up on dating. That ‘number of rejections’ is HIGHLY variable, like just 2 or 3 for a very sensitive/emotional person, and maybe even more than 100 for a highly practical person. But make no mistake, people do reach this ‘saturation point’. Also, suppose a man gets rejected by two woman, his confidence level would certainly be low while approaching the third woman. Now this woman might reject him due to his lack of confidence, because she is unaware that it was in fact caused by previous rejections. This is actually a vicious cycle with no escape.

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